What Happens in Krabi
by Granada-apple
Summary: About a perfect getaway to the Thai island of Krabi. By the intrigue of the universe, Beckett and Josh meet Castle and Gina there. CHAPTER FOUR UPDATED.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note: We assume for the purposes of the story that Castle is still together with Gina, while Beckett is of course with Josh**_.

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><p><strong>Chapter One <strong>

Krabi Island, gem of Thailand; spectacular by virtue of proximity to the Phi Phi Islands. A perfect getaway. A couple's retreat. It was everything that Kate could wish for, everything that she needed to rejuvenate, to get away from the exhaustion that is her job and to finally reconnect with her boyfriend Josh.

The couple had been friendly at best, unfamiliar at worst. Since Kate and Castle had saved New York City from the dirty bomb a few weeks back, she had been too emotionally and mentally drained for the commitments a relationship like theirs required. Josh, on the other hand, was having second thoughts about staying in New York instead of fulfilling his calling in Haiti. News of poor conditions and the desperate need for medical expertise haunted Josh daily, and Kate sensed that the more his resentment grew, the more it became directed at her. And quite rightfully so. Kate knew that a trip to Krabi would not resolve all their issues, but she also knew they both needed the break as their lives were taking a toll on them.

"What are you thinking about, babe?" Josh slipped his fingers between hers and pulled her arm on to his lap, while she smiled at his simple yet loving gesture. "Nothing, just thinking about how this vacation will be great."

"Mmm," he acknowledged as he leaned in to plant a short kiss on her lips. He always tasted so fresh.

The plane taxied to a stop on the runway and the seatbelt sign above their heads was turned off. Josh shot up immediately, freeing his long legs from the lack of space in economy class. Kate followed as they collected their bags and moved up the aisle to exit the plane, her hand still entwined in his. It has been an insanely long flight and Kate was looking forward to stretching on her hotel bed.

"Beckett?"

The familiar voice rang out as Kate and Josh stepped into the first class cabin on their way to the exit in the front.

Oh no, oh no no no. She whirled around on her heel, and sure enough sitting in one of the seats was Richard Castle. He looked just as stunned to see her, but his cheeky eyes roved over the loose black dress she was wearing and a little smirk hung on his lips, as easy as his demeanour.

"Castle? What are you doing here?"

"What a surprise, detective! Did you follow me out here?"

Her eyes narrowed at him and he laughed that melodious chime of a laughter that was his. "I'm here on vacation with Gina," he offered and that was when Kate saw Castle's ex-wife/publisher/girlfriend. Seeing them together reminded Kate of a summer not too long ago where Castle's reconciliation with Gina had derailed her attempt to express her feelings for him, leaving her with months of a train wreck. The memory was faded but the sting was fresh.

"Kate, we're blocking the aisle." Josh's voice called her from her untimely reverie. She glanced at the irritated crowds behind her and Josh. Turning to Castle one last time, she announced, "Well, enjoy yourself then, Castle."

What was he doing here? What was he doing here? What was he doing here?

Castle's eyes traveled to Kate and Josh's locked hands and back to Kate's face. She could swear she detected a moment of longing in his eyes, so quick, so tiny a sliver, that it vanished as quickly as it appeared. She blinked, but Josh pulled her away before she could mull over it.

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><p>Kate joined Josh where he was waiting for her outside the immigration checkpoint. He smiled at her, "How strange huh."<p>

"What is strange?"

"Meeting Castle here. We're in Krabi and you still can't get rid of him. It seems like he's destined to shadow you forever." He chuckled, and Kate could not help but notice how different his laugh was from Castle's. Josh's was low and throaty; Castle's like a happy child. There was no malice in Josh's comment however, and he seemed to genuinely find Castle interesting. It was strange, Kate thought. Why was Castle here? She had not mentioned a single word about her plans with Josh to tour Krabi, so she knew Castle had not come out here on purpose. Besides, what would be the point of doing so? This had all been a mad, strange and frustrating coincidence. For a while, getting away from her job meant escaping the attentions of Castle as well, and Kate embraced that opportunity, because whenever Castle was around she felt it was harder to breathe. Their partnership had been tumultuous and it was beginning to mean so much to Kate that she felt a restructuring of priorities was in order. She needed a Castle-less gap. But then again, here he was, around when she did not ask for him, when she was not aware that she needed him.

Speak of the devil, Kate thought as she observed Castle and Gina at the taxi booth Kate and Josh were strolling towards.

"Richard, it's your detective again." Kate could overhear Gina saying as she tugged on Castle's sleeve, pressing against him a little more closely. He was wearing a shirt so blue it brought out his eyes, the loveliest shade of clear blue, a shade she could so easily drown in. So apparently she was 'his' detective. She could not allow herself to think about what that means. He turned around to meet her eyes as Kate and Josh joined the queue for a taxi.

Kate could not stop the feeling of uneasiness in the pit of her stomach, manifesting itself in a million anxious butterflies, fluttering all at once with mad vigour. She smiled politely, wanting both to conceal and dissipate her odd feelings. "Where are you guys staying?"

"The Krabi Resort." Gina responded with a small smile matching in politeness, but her eyes betrayed her slight disdain of Kate. Kate and Josh looked at each other in surprise and Josh said, "That's funny, Kate and I are staying there too."

"That is funny." Castle's eyes danced with mischief and he grinned at Kate in his Castlesque manner. While she felt nervous at his presence, he seemed to be completely at ease with the situation. In fact, he seemed to rather enjoy this serendipitous arrangement. She rolled her eyes, an almost reflex movement, but she could not help but smile as well, feeling the butterflies in her gut land comfortably just because of Castle. "Are you sure you didn't follow me out here, Beckett? Put one of those nifty little GPS trackers on me? Or have a surveillance team attached to me 24/7?"

"Oh, I wonder who follows who on a regular basis. And if I recall, you are the one familiar with GPS tracking. Do not impose figments of your wild and secret desires on me, Castle." Kate fell into step with the easy banter that has so defined their relationship. Castle's mouth lined with teasing, as his eyes playfully explored hers, impressed by her willingness to play along. The both of them had stepped closer to each other while they spoke, as Gina and Josh watched from the side. Everyone and everything else only managed to fall away on the sidelines when Castle was in her sight, Kate mused, almost regretfully, as she pulled herself back towards Josh, the man who held her hand.

Castle seemed to sense the sudden shift in atmosphere so he said, clearing his throat, "Do you guys want to share a cab to the hotel?"

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><p>As the intriguing arrangement of the universe would have it, Castle and Gina's villa was right next to Kate and Josh's. Their villas were sprawled along a long, quiet coast, far from the rest of the world, but conveniently right next to each other. Krabi was by no means a large place, but it had a few pristine beaches, and the two couples just had to pick the same beach for their holiday. Of the same area, tourism was the main livelihood of the locals, so there were many beautiful resorts and hotels for their selection, and they had to pick the same place to stay. There were so many coincidences it was starting to get awkward. It was as if someone badly wanted Kate and Castle to be in the same space.<p>

Kate was not sure how she felt about Castle's proximity to her private life. While he has been an instrumental part of her life as a detective, and he has indeed wormed his way into the parts of herself she never thought she'll share with anyone, her time with Josh was still hers and hers alone. Why was Castle always making her life infinitely more complicated? He was like an unruly pet that was disgruntled to be domesticated, thrashing all the furniture in her life, disrespecting boundaries and placeholders, peeing all over forbidden places, marking his territory, creating a sordid mess of her heart and leaving his scent everywhere he walks. He refused to be placed. Refused to be set aside. Refused to fit into the categories she had established to maintain distance. Shadow. Temporary source of irritation. Smart-ass. And then when he grew on her – Partner. Friend.

She sighed, as she stepped out of the shower, drying her hair. Josh had left her alone for the afternoon, having gone to meet a fellow social worker he had met during his work in Cambodia, today being the only time available to do so. She could feel uneasy at his leaving her by herself so soon, but if she was honest to herself, somewhat a feat in recent times, she was relieved. Kate had not wanted to seem conflicted and nervous about Castle in front of Josh. He would have noticed her distracted demeanour, and she could not decide if she desired this. She rummaged through her baggage for her copy of _Naked Heat_, needing to lose herself in another world.

Bringing the book along was not exactly aligned to her prior interests of a Castle-less vacation, she admitted, but she felt connected to him through his works long before he had stormed his way into her life, and she was unwilling to let that go, even if she cannot acknowledge or fully understand it yet. Opening the novel to its first page, she ran her fingers over the dedication – To the real Nikki Heat, with gratitude. She lingered on this page, as if she was caressing the author himself.

And then she hears it. A loud moan of relief. Release.

"Oh, Rick."

Her body froze.

"Oh Rick, you're so good at this." Gina's voice reverberated, as clear as if she had been in the room itself.

Kate slammed her book shut, feeling bile at the edge of her throat. She squeezed her eyes shut, the sounds of pleasure too much for her to bear. Instantly, her masochist of a mind rests upon a memory hidden so deep in the recesses of her brain it seemed like a dream. "I'll stay on top of him." Gina had announced, clinging onto Castle. "It's not like I bite, much." A nightmare that plagued her summer last year.

"Do not ever stop, Rick."

Kate wrung her hands, feeling extreme heat and chills all over, like some brand of special hell she had no idea how to escape. All at once, she was unable to stop the mad rush of jealousy and anxiety that coursed through her veins like wild fire, yet she was unable to understand this urgent need to lash out and break something.

Her breathing uneven and her thoughts in disarray, she grabbed her novel and her bathing suit, deciding to visit the pool for now, slamming her door to the room shut.

Anything, anywhere, but here.

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><p><em><strong>So, this story came to me while I was myself holidaying in Krabi. This story takes our favourite couple out of the context of the precinct and solving murders, so it might be able to shed a different light on their relationships with each other and with their respective others. For this story to work and to take on the tone it does, Gina has to continue being in the picture. Please forgive that detail, dear shippers. (: <strong>_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"Oh, Rick."

She threw her head back in utter abandon.

"Oh, Rick, you're so good at this."

He exerted just the right amount of pressure on the tightness of her skin, satisfied at her sounds of pleasure. She lay sprawled on their king-sized bed, completely melted onto the spread, as he took her on his lap. He curled his palm into a fist and began kneading in a pseudo-expert manner, moving up and down the sole of her right foot.

Rick was giving Gina the foot massage of her life. He had no idea when and how he became such a great masseur, but when he was just a teenager he had semi-offered his services to the tirelessly working Martha. It was a precious moment of connection for the young boy to his mother, and while he currently supported her in ways other than foot massages, the skills that he obtained from years of practice remained with him. He involuntarily thought about how of all people, Beckett could probably use a foot massage. After all, the detective was always running after perps in those unbelievably high heels, putting the rest of the NYPD to shame.

Beckett, Beckett, Beckett. He still could not wrap his head around the fact that Beckett was in Krabi as well, sitting right in the room next to his, here on vacation with her all-too-perfect Motorcycle Boy. When he had finally handed in his manuscript for _Heat Rises_ back in New York, much to the satisfaction of his publisher, who conveniently happened to be his girlfriend, he had decided to take some time off with her as well. Gina had been insistent on getting away from New York's cold weather for a while now, for such a long time that spring was even beginning to blossom. Rick had been reluctant to leave a certain brown-haired detective behind, working cases without him. Therefore, it had seemed thoroughly convenient when Kate had informed him of her taking leave of the precinct for a while, something he had never expected, since Kate ignored her off days as if she wished to accumulate them into a year. It appeared now that he had not realised just how _convenient_ it was until he recognised her unmistakeable slender back, and those legs that refused to end, on the plane.

Seeing Beckett in a setting outside of the precinct seemed to build anticipation in him, and he had been grinning all the way from the airport to their resort. Gina on the other hand had seemed a little more tight-lipped and tense. Saying there was a lull in their relationship would have been a sheer understatement. They barely spent any time together, especially when things got intense at the station. When they did spend some days together, they could only argue. She took turns to reprimand him in the roles she enthusiastically rotated as his publisher, his ex-wife and his girlfriend respectively.

"Do not ever stop, Rick." Gina's voice called him from his reverie.

He glanced up, and that was when he observed a movement outside the window of his beautiful villa. It took him a while to realise Kate was walking away from their unfortunately conjoined residences, dressed in a white tank top and khaki shorts, revealing more leg than should be permitted as legal. Where was she going? And where was Josh? He felt inevitably and magically drawn to her, so he had no choice but to disobey Gina's command.

He gently pushed her feet onto the bed, as he stood. She looked up at him in surprise, propping herself on her elbows, while he said simply, "I'm sure you'll be able to have a good sleep now. I'll head out to grab some food. You want some?"

She leaned back on the bed and allowed her eyes to shut, looking incredibly serene. "It's fine, I'll just rest here. Thanks, Rick."

Rick smiled, but could not get out of the villa quicker. He followed the fresh but faint footprints that were imprinted on the sandy walkway, finally experiencing the tropical weather of the island. The temperature was hot almost to the point of unbearable and immediately he craved for a swim in the resort pool. Ah, that must have been where Beckett was heading. He turned at the sign that indicated the pool, a beautiful space adorned by large blue and white umbrellas and black sun tanning benches.

The place was strangely and vastly empty, so he spotted Beckett right away, just a foot away from him, lying on her stomach on one of the benches. The length of her body was entirely too much for the bench, so one of her legs was curled under the other, so casual a move that it would hardly seem sexy. But sexy she was. All the moments of innuendo he had taken up back in New York and all the times he had fantasised of her in a swimsuit could never have prepared him for this sight. She was dressed in a string bikini, one with large blue and white stripes, matching the umbrellas of the pool's surroundings, as if she had mysteriously planned it. Her back was only embellished by the blue string that converged into a butterfly knot, beautiful against the bareness of her toned body, while the curve where her back ended and met her never-ending legs was covered by a small triangular piece of blue and white. He could not help but look at Beckett appreciatively and the heat that had seemed unbearable before was now like walking through fire.

Every part of Kate seemed to have been sculpted perfectly, even the scars that interrupted the fairness of her skin made her even more flawless. He was not sure how. But it was his view of the back of her bare neck, stretched from the middle of her powerful shoulder blades to her hair which spilled over the bench in the most incredibly enchanting manner, which made it harder for him to breathe. Beckett didn't even need to try and he was instantly smitten. So, that's what she's been keeping from him all this time.

"What a fine…" he could not keep the mischief out of his voice, although he noticed it was trembling a little, so he paused. Her head snapped up and her surprised eyes met his. She narrowed her eyes at him, once she realised he had been watching her. What a fine what? She seemed to challenge him.

"Book," he finished, gesturing to the copy of _Naked Heat_ lying next to her, amidst her clothes. He could not comprehend how incredibly sexy it was to see one of his works, one about her in fact, mixed in Beckett's tiny tank top and shorts which were too short. "What a fine book."

"Couldn't live without me even on a vacation huh," Rick teased, his eyes dancing, while she reached to move the novel, only to realise there was no way to hide it now, its visibility mirrored by her embarrassment. He laughed, so she threw her top at him, the fabric hitting him right in the face. "Shut up, Castle."

"Oh, you're too good to me, Detective. First, you play out my fantasy of finally wearing a swimsuit. Next, you bring a book of mine to the poolside. And now you're willingly giving up your clothing?"

"In your dreams, Castle."

"Always." He started to stretch himself on the bench next to hers. "Any way I can get this to become regular office wear back at the precinct?"

"Perhaps a deal for you to stop shadowing me would do the trick. I think when the day that you won't be getting on my nerves any longer arrives, I will celebrate by wearing this exact outfit to work."

"Hey!" He widened his eyes at her, "How you torture me. Fine, I will settle for seeing you in this little number for the rest of our time here." She rolled her eyes at this and he thanked the stars, or whatever magical twist of fate it was, that brought them here in Krabi together.

"Feel free to show me more while we're here, Detective."

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours," she responded, with a slight huskiness to her voice. As if to reinforce her offer, she turned herself so her back retreated to face the bench while she exposed her stomach to the sunlight. He gasped, almost audibly, and gulped. He could now see the symmetry of the stripes on her bikini top and bottom, leaving way too little for his very, very vivid imagination. Her stomach was taut and muscled, fair but not without scars. He felt a magnetic urge to touch her, and to prompt her to tell him the story of her scars.

He must have looked incredibly slack-jawed, because she laughed, a melodious ring of bells, knowing that her effect on him was tremendous.

She pushed herself off the bench in an agile movement, jumping off the edge of the pool and plunging in with all the grace of an Olympic diver. He was entranced as he watched the water splash and consume her, thinking that she must have practised this or something.

Kate surfaced a few moments later, some distance away in the pool, with her hair flat against her face. She looked like a goddess. When she laughed yet again, he knew he still had a look of wonder on his face. That woman was going to be the death of him, and she knew it.

"What's the matter, Ricky?" She shouted, biting her lip enticingly. "Did I get you wet over there?"

At that point in time, Rick could not bring himself to bother about their respective traveling partners, and to ponder the strange delicate situation he always seemed to find Kate and himself in. All he knew was Kate Beckett, always full of surprises, never ceased to amaze him.

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><p><em><strong>A shorter chapter than I am used to writing, but I hope you like it! All the alerts and reviews have been truly encouraging, so thank you! <strong>_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

The sounds of the intermittent waves crashing against the vacant shore formed a soothing rhythmic backdrop, which she matched the pace of her walk to. It was strangely comforting and jarring at the same time, to be unable to hear the noises of traffic, the blaring of horns, that both suggested and fueled the hustle of New York City, that peculiar rush to get to somewhere important. This was a lovely change, Beckett thought, as she breathed in the faint aroma of the palm trees that lined the sidewalk above the beach. The coast of Krabi was rather pristine, but it carried the heaviness of the past, in a caustic quality that was hardly tangible. Closing her eyes, Beckett remembered the images of the 2004 tsunami that consumed the entire region near the Indian Ocean. It had not been that long ago that she had witnessed the disaster from the comfort of her apartment, half a world away, but heart still aching for the victims, and perhaps even more for the survivors who had lost someone. Perhaps the history of the region, the inability to shake off the reminder of the deadly tsunamis like the pungent smell of fruit that pressed on their souls, was what attracted both her and Castle to the place.

"Hey," a hand that snaked around her waist accompanied a quiet male voice.

"Hey yourself," she smiled while Josh placed a small kiss on her bare shoulder.

He turned her so she half-faced him, "I just spoke to the lady at the tour agency. Our speedboat to Phi Phi Islands leaves in half an hour. I booked a full day tour to four islands, with lunch provided."

"Well, we better get going then!" Kate tried to extricate herself from his embrace, but he held her firmly. He leaned in and melted his lips against hers in a slow, languid kiss.

When he began to pull away, she whispered against his enticing lips, "What was that for?"

"What, can't I kiss a beautiful girl?"

She laughed freely and moved outside his embrace, but not before taking his hand, "Come on, we're going to miss our boat."

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><p>"Will you please take that off? You look completely ridiculous." Gina's mouth thinned as she reached for the khaki-coloured hat on Rick's head. They were sitting in the back of a small and cosy speedboat, on one of the blue cushioned seats that lined the sides. A large orange icebox that contained cooled drinks sat in the middle, while a tub next to it filled to the brim with life vests and snorkeling masks. There were five other people in the boat – an Asian family of three, the driver of the boat and a local tour guide who sat in the front. The boat was currently still and docked, and it bobbed steadily with the waves.<p>

He pressed the offensive hat against his head quickly, "I'm afraid people will recognise me! And what do you mean I look ridiculous?"

Her eyes narrowed and found his, even through his sunglasses. "Oh, because you're so famous that they translated your novels into Thai?"

"You never know," he retorted, "Paula said they were going to-"

"Oh, look, it's Detective Beckett," Gina's eyes landed somewhere distant behind him, and she spat the last two words out, as if they were venomous. Castle whirled around so quickly he thought he was going to cause the boat to rock violently.

True enough, Beckett was strolling towards the boat, dressed in a navy blue halter dress that ended just above her knee. It was hardly a revealing piece, but it showed off the broadness of her shoulders and that alone could make any man stop and do a double take. Did the woman own anything in bright colours at all?

A smile illuminated her face, and it was so lovely that it felt like the first day of spring after a barren winter season. It filled him with wonder, and Rick feels like a four-year-old boy who saw a playground at a park for the first time. It made him feel like he was standing in Central Park as the trees became green again, soaking up the sunlight that was so eager to spread its warmth. She was so… free.

It was then that Castle noticed she was enclosed in the arm of her tall boyfriend. He was wearing a matching shade of grey, in a shirt that was just tight enough, and khaki bermudas. He whispered something in her ear and she laughed, the glorious sound traveling all the way to the speedboat, and Castle felt himself rise involuntarily, desiring to hear what Josh said that made Kate so happy.

"What are you doing?" Gina hissed, pulling him down sharply.

"What? Oh, nothing," Castle blinked, suddenly feeling extremely hot and discomfited.

"Well, don't they look nice together," His girlfriend cocked her head and raised her eyebrows.

When Castle turned his attention back to Kate, she was engaged in a lip lock with Motorcycle Boy, and their bodies were so close together they were almost one. He could see her smile against his lips before she broke away, realising they had reached their destination. With a turn of her beautiful head, she noticed Castle and Gina. Her smile dropped to the ground instantly, as if someone extracted it from her. She and Josh stopped right at the ladder that connected the shallow waters and the boat.

"Oh hey, Castle," Josh exclaimed, "And Gina, is that right?"

Gina nodded, smiling without teeth. Castle seemed spellbound into silence and he looked increasingly self-conscious.

"You're kidding, right?" Beckett muttered, as much to Castle as to herself. It was like the universe was playing a trick on her. No, no, the universe warned, no enjoying yourself with your boyfriend, no granting of private space. Let's just stick Castle in every single part of her life. Beckett sucked her cheeks in and bit their inner walls, as it suddenly hit her that Castle had witnessed her kissing Josh. She did not know why, but her stomach stirred in discomfort at the thought. She feels like a seventeen-year-old caught making out in a classroom and a hot flush burst on to her face.

"Kate?" Josh's hand reached into view and it was then she saw he had already climbed onto the cursed boat that held Castle. It was no big deal, right? People came to Krabi mostly to see Phi Phi islands. Of course Castle and Gina would have been thinking of visiting them as well. She was surprised he had not hired a yacht, though.

Kate took Josh's hand and the two of them boarded the boat, settling in a seat diagonally opposite Castle and Gina, and next to the Asian family of three. It was a small boat and there was barely any distance between everyone. Finally, the tour guide, a tanned and short local Thai, came by to address them.

"Hi everyone!" He had a friendly demeanour. "How is everyone doing today? My name is Chatkab, but you can call me Chat. There are seven of you here today and we thank you for joining our tour services. As you know, we'll be heading to Phi Phi islands today. It's a long ride - about 40 minutes away by speedboat. We'll first reach Bamboo Island, have lunch at Phi Phi Don, go around Phi Phi Lay, which is beautiful for photo taking this time of the year. So you guys came to the right place." Chat paused here for a laugh and looked around.

Kate took this opportunity to glance at Castle, but widened her eyes slightly when she realised he was already staring at her. She raised her eyebrows questioningly and mouthed "What?"

"Nothing," he whispered theatrically, but without amusement. His grinning, easy manner seemed to have disappeared and Kate frowned, averting her gaze quickly.

Chat continued, "If we are very lucky, the winds will ease up a little and allow us to visit Maya Bay, which is where the Hollywood movie _The Beach_ was filmed. Any Americans here?"

The four of them smiled and looked about the boat self-consciously at the unexpected mention. Castle said animatedly to fill the silence, "Yes, we hear Maya Bay is gorgeous. _The Beach_ huh? I personally prefer the novel myself."

Kate found herself responding before she could exercise any restraint. "That's what you say about _everything_," she rolled her eyes.

"No, that's not true. I don't say that about _Sex and the City_." Castle's grin was infectious, as it always has been, but before Kate could suppress the smile that threatened to break out on her face, his vanished as quickly as it came.

Kate could not help but think it strange, and she felt an unwelcome but unmistakable dullness set upon her heart. Desperate to feel anything other than awkward, which this whole trip was setting out to be, she sought some grounding in their banter, the way they had always communicated. "Well, is that what inspired your hat, Castle? Pretty. Sarah Jessica Parker would be proud."

She heard Josh laugh next to her and squeeze her hand, while Castle snatched the hat off his head in one swift movement. She beamed, expecting some sort of witty response from the writer, but he surrendered to her mocking, and his eyes remained safe behind his dark shades, to which she was not privy.

* * *

><p>The boat ride to their first stop Bamboo Island was so rocky that Castle felt almost driven to the point of insanity. It was like riding a roller coaster without the height, or the thrill. It was not so much because of the waves that were choppy but the insistence of the driver to go as quickly as physically possible. Every time the boat slid upwards, he feels a sense of dread that gathers in his stomach and hangs in midair, a strange sensation at the pit of his stomach that only becomes undone when the entire boat crashes downwards. The passengers even had to keep all items that were in danger of flying out of the speedboat, including Castle's hat and the sunglasses that shielded his eyes (from the sunlight or from Beckett's piercing gaze, he did not know). Curse the law of physics that implied inertia.<p>

Gina held on to Rick as tightly as Josh wrapped his arms around Kate. Rick could not help but notice. Every time the boat rocks a little too violently for comfort, Kate laughed loudly into Josh's chest, and Rick's stomach becomes more and more ready to heave.

"Rick," Gina practically screamed, to match the howling of the wind at their speed. "Rick, I think I'm going to be sick."

"Okay, no, okay, hold it in." He scanned the boat urgently for any sign of an empty and disposable bag.

"Hold it in?" Gina tugged on to Rick's left arm and dug her fingernails into his flesh.

"Woah, woah, ouch, okay, just a while more!" He saw Beckett reach into her handbag, looking over at them with concerned eyes. Her hands emerged shortly with a rolled up white plastic bag and she leaned over to pass it to him, their eyes meeting for what seemed like the first time in years. That's not true though, their eyes met all the time.

Castle pulled hurriedly at the plastic bag until it opened and held it in front of Gina's chest, just in time for her to retch into it. He scrunched his nose up at the general action, but sympathetically rubbed her back in a circular motion.

He looked up at Beckett and muttered a small thanks, while she expressed a kind smile. It's nothing, she suggested with a wave of her hand. Except it's not nothing. Her presence here on the boat was not nothing. This entire vacation was not nothing. Sighing involuntarily as he watched Beckett turn back to Josh to continue their whispered conversation, he returned his attention to Gina. He kissed her temple and spoke softly, "Are you okay?"

She nodded into the bag, and Castle pressed her sea-sick head to his shoulder gently.

It was not nothing. With Beckett, it was never nothing.

He found himself wondering who to love, whom he should love, and whom he loved.

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><p><em><strong>Hi everyone! I'm so sorry for the mini-hiatus I took for both my stories. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, although I am not entirely satisfied with it. <strong>_

_**Review, anyone? **_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

The boat ride continued to be rocky for the rest of the journey to Bamboo Island. Gina lay without strength on Rick's chest and he soothed her by stroking her back. As the speedboat slowed and crawled towards the beach, the water turned so clear one could see the pristine white sand on the bed of the sea. It was like a dream.

Rick pointed this out to Gina silently and they exchanged a smile as they raveled in the beauty they had come all the way to experience (and that Gina had threw her breakfast up for).

Instinctively, Rick lifted his head and glanced across the boat at his detective. Kate sat with one long leg tucked under the other, and she half-faced the sea that surrounded the boat, staring serenely out into the edge where the ocean met the sky. Her left hand was stretched towards Josh, but she shared no other connection with anyone else. She seemed to have sunk in a universe of her own thoughts. Rick never wanted to get into another person's head so much. He blinked self-consciously as he realised what a familiar sentiment this was when it came to Kate. He was constantly wondering what filled the contents of her head and her heart.

Kate must have sensed his piercing eyes on her because she turned her head towards Rick, abandoning her lovely solitude. Her large olive orbs found his. For a long moment, neither of them moved from their electric gaze. His heart hammered loudly and blood rushed to his head. He hoped Gina had not realised.

Then, Kate smiled - a dazzling smile. His heartbeat resounded in his head and he felt like a sixteen-year-old in the corridors of a high school, the sensation so foreign he thought he would never feel it again. Before he could commit every crest and rise of her face to memory, Kate turned away again, leaning over the metal railing of the boat and inspecting the wonders of the waters.

Oh gosh, Rick. He thought how idiotic he must have seemed staring after her. He suddenly felt incredibly self-conscious, and increasingly uncomfortable with how Kate loomed over his thoughts.

He was not accustomed to having Kate and Gina in the same space. He was used to compartmentalising. Impress Kate at work; accompany Gina at home. But as he breathed in the both of them, he felt like the combination of them contaminated his air and poisoned his lungs. His idea of a relaxing time off with Gina to get away from the noise of New York was now destroyed by the largest distraction of all - in the form of a tall willowy brunette. Kate was like a splinter in his mind, and it hurt every time he tried to appeal to his good sense. All he wanted to do was reach out to touch her, especially when she gazed at him that way.

Rick wanted to exclaim that he did not understand. He had been as excited as a child on Christmas Day just yesterday as he celebrated his close proximity to the detective. Yet, now he only felt his stomach stir in discomfort, and he was sure it was not because of the boat ride. He wanted to be the confused kid told that Santa was not real. Oh, but it was all very real to him. In fact, the presence of Kate glossed all his senses and made it hyperreal. His feelings of white hot certainty were only matched by his resigned guilt. What was he doing?

Chat, the tour guide, moved from his seat to stand and he announced animatedly, "We're here on Bamboo Island!" The boat slowed to a halt correspondingly. He began talking about the island in more detail.

At this, Rick lowered his head to check on Gina and found to his surprise that she was staring at him. A sense of alarm shot through him. Her eyes were vacant and just for that moment, he knew that she caught his peculiar exchange with Kate. He wanted to look away, but it was like roadkill, and he could not bring himself to avert his eyes, as if Gina was his own personal collateral damage.

She blinked, and he thought a shadow of vulnerability passed in her eyes, before she cleared her throat and shifted her gaze.

He did not know what else to say but - "You okay?"

She nodded, pursing her lips so hard they were white. "This place is gorgeous."

"Yeah," was all Rick could muster.

People shifted around the boat as they made a move to climb down into the shallow waters towards the shore. With his arm around Gina's shoulders, Rick pulled the both of them up. She was stiff. They shuffled to the end of the speedboat as everyone filed out towards the beach, and they met with the last two passengers who happened to be Josh and Kate.

Kate stepped forward towards Gina while Josh fell into step beside Rick, as they climbed out into the water. The white sandy seabed lay around them and whirled around their feet as they walked. The soft beads of sand scampered between Rick's toes and he momentarily thought about how wonderful the feeling was.

He looked up to catch Josh's gaze. The first thing he noticed was how tall the man was. Rick had never seen himself as a scrawny person, but next to Josh he felt how Robin must have felt next to Batman. If he were to lose Kate to anybody, he guessed Josh would have been a good candidate. Oh God. Rick almost did a double take. Where did that thought come from? Kate was not his to lose or give. She was not his at all. Again, a hot flush of discomfort coursed through him and attacked him in the face.

"This is some place, huh?" Josh broke the silence, wonderment in his voice.

Rick nodded, "Some place indeed." His eyes found the two women strolling in front of him. They were talking but he could not hear their conversation. He remembered all of a sudden that the last time Kate and Gina met, Kate had uttered awkwardly, "I didn't think the two of you got along."

"Gina is very nice," Josh followed Rick's gaze. "Kate tells me she's your ex-wife?"

"Yeah," a laugh punctured Rick's reply. His relationship with Gina was always interesting to others. It was to him, for a while.

Finally, they arrived on the shore, where Chat gathered the bunch of them. The beach was peppered with only a few tourists, some swimming in the shallow end, and some sunbathing languidly on the white sand. Chat began, "This is called Bamboo Island because it used to be covered in bamboo trees. They have now all been cut away but the island is now being preserved as a national park."

"There aren't many water sports to do here, but you can snorkel, swim or just explore the beach. Please remember to use the life jackets when you snorkel! I'll be waiting for you here in two hours. We'll take the boat out to Phi Phi Don after this." Chat continued, "Please don't be late!"

The group began dispersing, while Rick turned to Gina. "Let's take a walk that way," she pointed towards an empty stretch of the uncorrupted beach. It was decidedly away from the rest of the crowds.

"Looks great," Rick agreed, smiling tentatively and trying to gauge whether Gina was unhappy. She started striding away quickly, and Rick dropped Kate and Josh a glimpse before he followed. They seemed to be occupied with snorkeling equipment.

Rick fell behind Gina, stepping into her footprints. She seemed to be going quicker and quicker, fueled by a burst of energy that looked suspiciously like anger. He rubbed his face tiredly. This was his fault. He quickened his pace to catch up, as they entered a completely deserted part of the shore.

"Gina!" He shouted. "Gina, please stop." He got up behind her and gently pulled at her shoulder.

She turned around violently to throw his hand from her shoulder. Her eyes were watered in fury, her lips pale, and her blonde hair whipping in the wind. She glared at him.

His arm fell by his side where it lay, as useless as he felt. "Are you okay?"

She suddenly laughed, a mirthless, empty laugh, that gave him a chill. "Am I okay? What a question. I can't take this anymore, Rick."

He wanted to ask, to prod. What couldn't she take anymore? But she deserved more than this. She did not need him to play ignorant. He had the responsibility to resolve this once and for all. How had it come to this? He wondered if he subconsciously saw this coming and sighed, simultaneously weary and remorseful. "I'm sorry, Gina. I really am." His words sounded hollow, and he felt like he was trying to speak underwater and he could not hear himself over his breathing.

"I suppose I've known for a while now," she said.

"That's a while longer than me then," Rick said, inspecting the angered face of the woman he once loved, and still do love, in a different way.

She started pacing, the way she did when she was stressed or annoyed at him. "I've wondered if it was a passing infatuation, and I've even contemplated ignoring it. In New York maybe I wouldn't have noticed, oh but Rick, the way you look at her."

His chest constricted as her voice became more shaky. He could not stand the way he had inadvertently hurt her.

"The way you look at her is just-" she stared out into the blue waters. "I never stood a chance."

"I do care about you, you know?"

She looked at him again and he realised her ice blue eyes had hardened. "Mm, if only that was enough. I need to stop being second place in your heart. First Alexis, now Beckett."

He wished he did not agree with her. He wished he could argue, tell her it was not true, assure her they could work through this. He wished he had stepped up and dealt with his confusion before she had to confront him and call him out on it.

"Gina, I wished the situation was different. I'm really sorry." All his words seemed inadequate to him, and the comfort he usually sought in his eloquence could not be found here.

She raked her thin hand through her hair, but it only messed her locks up more. She looked defeated. "I think I'm going to head back to Krabi now. I'll go down to the airport tomorrow and buy a ticket back to New York."

"Oh no, Gina, you don't have to leave," he pleaded.

"I have no business here."

"Gina..."

She was always headstrong. He could not let her return to New York alone. He conceded, "Okay, we'll head back together. I'll buy the tickets."

He wanted to reach out to comfort her, but she wrung her hands in exasperation and irritation. "No, I will fly back alone."

"Okay, let me go back to the hotel with you at least."

"Please, Rick, please. Do not follow me." Her tone was commanding, but her eyes leaked hurt. It was then that he saw how much it pained her to be with him. While it was now clear as day that his heart did not lie with her, it was still struck with sorrow that he had done this to her. He experienced a flash of self-hatred, that gathered at the pit of his stomach and threatened to jam his throat.

When he was unable to say anything in return, she stood looking at him silently for a while, cold and isolated as a statue in winter, though they were on a tropical beach. "I'll ask Chat to arrange a speedboat for me. It's nothing."

"You'll get seasick." He said worriedly.

"Nothing left in me," she said sadly, and they both knew she was not talking about the contents of her stomach.

Slowly, Gina walked past him and towards the row of speedboats haphazardly parked along the shoreline, where they had come from just a moment ago. Rick let her go, because this was a wish of hers he could grant, and he figured he owed her that.

He stood alone on the near empty beach, and the only sounds he could hear were his breathing and the rhythmic way the waves chipped along the shore of the island.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Hi guys! I feel like such a broken record when I apologise for infrequent updates, but I truly am sorry. I hope you enjoy this chapter and do leave your comments, positive or not. Thank you! <em>**


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